For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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