Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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