he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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