It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
