I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
