Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
