ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
