I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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