just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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