so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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