i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Actions speak louder than pants.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
