Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
