I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
