One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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