My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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