after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
