Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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