He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
When are your genitals available?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He has the fingertips of a God
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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