I didn't shave. On purpose
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
