I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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