My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
