I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
