A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
