Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
