he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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