I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
