Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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