The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
