trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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