My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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