We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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