Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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