Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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