Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
NoShamevember. You game?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
