Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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