I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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