I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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