Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
