dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
