Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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