He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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