I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
