Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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