Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
