At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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