Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
