I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
