I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
