remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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