My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
